


Half-Light

by shellsgoboom



Category: Martin and Lewis
Genre: M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Sort Of, Unrequited Love, just a lot of complicated feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22550344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shellsgoboom/pseuds/shellsgoboom
Summary: It's too much. He's burning up from the inside.
Relationships: Jerry Lewis/Dean Martin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Half-Light

In the half-light of the hotel room he sits, waits, in a rare moment of quiet. He watches Dean standing by the open window, silhouetted against the city. The cigarette in Dean's hand hangs loosely between his fingers, smoke drifting lazily up and around and catching the light in a glittering haze.

Jerry watches it swirl into the air; imagines it turning into a silk scarf, soft and smooth as it dances across his partner's skin, fluttering and caressing before vanishing into nothing.

He wonders if Dean sees him like smoke sometimes. Flitting around him on stage, shifting from one form to another in the blink of an eye with no apparent sense of direction, before disappearing from view altogether. Out of sight, out of mind. Until the next show sparks him into back existence.

It's too much. He's burning up from the inside.

“Paul.” His voice cracks.

Dean turns without hesitation, brings the cigarette to his lips and Jerry stares, mesmerised.

“Paul.” Barely a whisper now. He hates how small and desperate he sounds. Dean stubs out the cigarette on the windowsill and Jerry's heart clenches.

He doesn't know what to say next. All the words in his head are stumbling over themselves, half-formed sentences tripping on his tongue; _I want_ frozen behind his teeth, _I need_ clawing up his throat, _please_ lodged firmly in his chest. He shudders on an inhale, breath catching as Dean walks towards him. His eyes are kind and patient and Jerry wants to look away but he can't.

“You're okay,” Dean tries to reassure him but he's got it all wrong. The sunrise is bathing the room in a golden glow. _If you could see yourself like this you'd understand_. Dean leans down and presses his lips to Jerry's forehead and repeats himself, softer this time, “you're okay.”

It's too much. It's not enough. He closes his eyes and breathes, waits, listens to the world outside beginning to wake from its slumber as his whole body trembles with fear and longing for something he dare not say out loud. Later tonight in front of an eager audience he will take his place at Dean's side once again, pushing the limits of the act, their friendship, the boundaries they both put up and tear down in equal measure.

The calm of the dawn is fading fast. Time is slipping through his fingers. He sinks into the sheets and lets himself fall into dreams of silk and smoke.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you have the song Quiet Car Ride by By the Coast on repeat, even if it did run away with itself and go in a different direction I expected it to.


End file.
